Birthday Blues

Every year without fail I become moody and depressed in the lead up to my birthday.  A big part of this is due the events that occurred on my 19th birthday, which include how I lost my virginity.  But to be honest, it’s also because that’s the year both my mum and my dad – who were/are divorced – forgot to call to wish me a happy birthday.  It was just bad timing that they forgot that year and not another.  I suppose it was bad timing all round, and now all three events are inextricably linked in my mind.

They weren’t to know that I had a huge fight with a friend and stormed off the evening before.  That I went to at a club on my own – for the first time – where I met the two guys who would take my virginity.  My parents weren’t to know that I was stranded at a major shopping centre – even now I’m not entirely sure which one – late that morning without a mobile phone or much money.  It wasn’t their fault that I realised  after I had I had gotten home that one of the condoms had likely broken – I wasn’t on the pill then – and that the Doctor was wrong when she told me I didn’t need to take the anti-nausea pill before the second morning after pill – which I needed to take at 2am – because I would sleep through any nausea.  No matter what anyone says, always take the anti-nausea pill, because otherwise you’ll spend a hellish four hours or so desperately trying not vomit.

There was one good thing about my birthday that year.  My worried brother yelled at me when I got home because he had waited up all night for me, since he had forgotten I had planned to stay with a friend – that night.

Raspberry Cheesecake Brownies

Ingredients

125g milk chocolate melts

75g dark chocolate, chopped

1 cup lightly packed brown sugar

4 eggs

1/2 cup self raising flour

1/4 cup cocoa powder

250g cream cheese, at room temperature

1/4 cup caster sugar

1 cup frozen raspberries

Method

1. Preheat oven to 170C.  Line a 16×26cm slice pan with baking paper.
2. Melt chocolate and set aside to cool.
3. Beat butter and brown sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer until thick and creamy.  Add three eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.  Fold in the sifted flour and cocoa powder.  Fold through the cooled chocolate and set aside.
4. Beat the cream cheese and sugar in a bowl until combined.  Add the remaining egg and beat well.  Fold in the raspberries.
5. Spoon the chocolate and cream cheese mixtures alternately over the base of the prepared pan .  Use a skewer to swirl to create a marble effect.  Bake in oven for 50 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.  Cool completely in the pan before cutting into squares.

Random Shoe Photo #2

Oat & Coconut Crisps

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups traditional rolled oats

1/2 cup shredded coconut

3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed

3/4 cup caster sugar

1/4 cup plain flour, sifted

165g butter, melted

1 egg, lightly beaten

1tsp vanilla essence

Method

1. Preheat oven to 170C.  Line a baking tray with grease paper.
2. Place the oats, coconut, sugars and flour in a bowl and mix to combine.  Add butter, egg and vanilla and mix until well combined.  Spoon a level tablespoon of cookie batter onto the prepared tray.  Repeat with remaining mixture, leaving room to spread.  Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden.  Allow to cool completely on the baking tray.

A Lazy Stoner Sunday

A couple of weeks ago I went to a work mate’s Hen’s Party at Dracula’s Cabaret Restaurant.  When I got there – on time for once and only the second to arrive – I was surprised to learn that only work colleagues had been invited plus one other girl.  That seemed so strange to me.  I know if I needed to get together a Hen’s it would only be a small group – and there would be gay guys in the party – but I would almost go without than have a Hen’s filled with work people.  But maybe that’s just me?

Since there were work people and I was still getting over a cold I decided it was best to skip the drinking.  The show itself was pretty entertaining, and I’m sure if I had been there with friends I would have had a fantastic time.  Towards the end of the night one of the girls made a comment about the servers: “Oh my God, I bet some of these people would wear clothes like this out on the street!?!” It’s a vampire themed cabaret, so the servers were wearing a mish mash of gothic, punk – I’ve been hot for goth and punk boys before emos even existed – vampire, Rocky Horror, etc type outfits with extreme make up and some with intricate dark tattoos.  I of course had spent half the night trying not to make eyes at all the exotic creatures and while I fantasized about what I wanted to do if I somehow happened to get the guitarist alone – a long shot, I know.  So, clearly we – my work mates and I – are not the same kind of people.  As I had predicted it was a pretty tame night – though over half the group ended up with food poisoning including the girl who ordered a special no-dairy-gluten-free dinner but not me, who had the chicken – and it was almost midnight as we said our goodbyes out the front of the restaurant.  Luckily a work mate offered me a lift, as I hadn’t seen any empty taxis go past and I was eager to get home.

Earlier in the night I had texted Blue Eyes to see what he was up to.  He was without plans late in the evening and it was 1am when he texted that he’d called a taxi.  About 20 minutes after that got I got a text which asked for another taxi number.  For some reason that delighted me, but I don’t know why.  I found him another number and then distracted him with dirty texts until the – second – taxi arrived.  I paid for the taxi when it got here.  I had offered to do so since I knew he couldn’t afford one – he is only 20 after all – and I have to say I’ve had my fair share of taxis paid for by boys so it didn’t seem a big deal to me.

I don’t know why, but I am always surprised by how tall he is.  I think I equate young with small, though one has little to do with the other when you’re talking about adults.  Blue Eyes is the most chilled of my boys, and I think this rubs off on me.  He’s the boy I call – text really, I don’t ever call any of them – when I feel like a lazy night on the couch with dvds, a boy and some smoke.  This time he chose the movie Wrong Turn – which was still in its wrapper because I was too scared to watch it on my own even though I’ve seen it before – while I rolled.  I think we saw all of five minutes of the movie before we got distracted.  As I knew he would, he wanted me to suck his cock.  Of course I obliged.  I just can’t say no to his pretty face and to be honest, he has a good cock for sucking.  Lucky for him, he always stays still, no unexpected face fucking or hand at the back my head encouraging – forcing – me to swallow more cock.  This is a good thing for me – his moans, groans and whimpers and more than enough encouragement – because after I lick and kiss and play I will test myself and see just how much cock I can swallow.   And there he was, sitting on the couch and while I was on my knees between his knees.  No matter how much I like sucking cock, after a while I do get antsy – and I did spend 20-30 minutes on my knees – if I’m not paid enough attention, so we switched to 69.  Truth be told, this is the position we end up in the most – partially my fault since I got him stoned – and he’s pretty decent at it.  He’s all soft with his lips and tongue to begin with before he adds his fingers into the mix.

So a lovely chilled time was had, though the poor boy had a headache the next day.  He was worried about having some panadol because of the smoking but I managed to convince him it was fine – I didn’t tell him all the legal and illegal substance I had taken while stoned – though I did feel a little like a wicked older woman corrupting a sweet innocent youth.  I walked him to the station again later in the day – when he asked me to, he sounded like he wasn’t sure if I would – and I spent the rest of Sunday afternoon baking.

Peanut Butter Choc-Chunk Cookies

The Next Night

I spent most of Saturday laying on the couch where I managed to get a couple of hours of shut-eye.  It was 11pm when I got a text from the boy.  After we texted back and forth for a bit he decided he would come and get me after he got home from Parklife.  This was so I could meet the kittens, and we did have a little unfinished business from the night before.

The boy’s housemate wasn’t home, so after he showed me around and introduced me to the kittens, we curled up together on some bean bags to watch a dvd. 

Things started off slowly, I think we were both very tired – him more than me since he’d spent the day at Parklife – there was lots of kissing, then hands and before I knew it, I was naked.  I ended up on top, since that seemed easiest.  We kissed and played for a while, before I asked about a condom – It’s a drag to always be the one to mention them – and finally we  got to fuck.  He had me from behind while I braced myself on the couch when I looked down to see one of the cats in the gap between me and couch.  We had a giggle when it hopped on the couch and rolled belly up.  I think we finally went to bed around 4am.

The next morning I got some more of that delightful hand and mouth action which was briefly interrupted by one of the cats when it leapt on me – were both under the doona since the boy had left his door open for the cats – and we fucked some more. 

We spent awhile curled up together talking about favourite things and other get-to-know-you stuff.  It about lunchtime when we finally got up and I met the boy’s housemate who I had met the other night but didn’t remember - awkward - before we headed to the supermarket to get food so the boy could make a lunch of cajun chicken wraps.   

When we got back I’m afraid I followed the boy around like a quiet little shadow as he prepared lunch.  I was crazy tired since I hadn’t slept well – I’m not used to sharing a bed with a boy, let alone a boy and two cats – and felt unsettled being at a boy’s house so I wasn’t so sure about what to do with myself.  We spent the rest of the day just lazing on the bean bags while we watched Watchmen.  The boy took me home later, sometime after 5pm.

Chewy Fruit & Nut Slice

Another Little Adventure

Last Friday night I headed out to Cabinet to meet Annik – she was visiting Melbourne for the weekend – and some others from Twitter – though Bort was the only other person I followed – for drinks. There was the usual anxiety as I got ready but I got there a little after 8. I waited outside for a moment as I texted BFF in a panic – “I didn’t consider how difficult it would be to find people I never met before in a dark.” - but when I looked I saw a small group of people and I  recognized Annik. Greetings were made and we went up into the bar.

It was a good night.  I met some interesting people.  It’s an odd thing being out with complete strangers – apart from Annik and Bort, though Twitter’s not real life, is it? – though I suppose I got over that quickly enough with the help of a few vodka pineapples and everyone was friendly.  At different times in the evening, people asked for my Twitter handle – I remember handing back a phone in disgust because I couldn’t find all the letter keys - and each time I was surprised and delighted.   

I had planned on being on my best behaviour that night, but since I threw food off the balcony, punched and tried to tip a few drinks on Bort - which wasn’t unprovoked, he tried to upskirt me - I guess I wasn’t.  I’m pretty certain there are a few things I don’t remember - yesterday I found a photo of the boy in my phone that I don’t remember taking – but hopefully nothing was worse than what I do remember.

As always, I kept my eyes open for any cute/interesting boys.  A pretty one caught my eye and he caught me staring at him - it still surprises me when people notice me, which just yet more baggage left over from high school – and later I called him over with a gesture with no thought as what I would say when he responded – this is one of the reasons I like drinking, actions taken without thought.  If I had been sober there would have been that much anxiety of whether he would see the gesture and whether he would respond, etc, etc, that I would never have made it – and I think we shared a cigarette later on.  He was pretty but I had gotten the feeling that there was something between him and another of the girls - with whom I’d had a lovely chat about baking at the begining of the night – there and my attention had also been caught by another boy who was cute and funny.  Don’t ask me how standing up and doing a twirl would help someone guess your age – though he later told me he was distracted my legs anyway – but he was cute and I was in a dress made for twirling – really, it was a dress better suited to a night out dancing than sitting in a bar – so I was happy to oblige.

It’s mostly a haze from here, and about all I remember is the boy daring me to kiss him – I don’t remember the premise of it now, though I thought it flimsy at the time – which of course I did.  He was a very good kisser.  In fact, I turned to him more than once to say “You know, I think we make out some more” to which he agreed and we did.  I also ended up with Bort’s name on my thigh, written by the boy with the pen in his mouth – I’m not entirely sure why the pen in the mouth? 

 

I remember this....

 

 

But not this....

 

 

The boy and I made out a fair bit and it got rather heated because his hands ended up under my dress and I know I shifted in my seat so he  could run his hand over my bare ass – look what happens the first time I wear a g-string out in public – and this was probably in full view of everyone.  This may or may not be when I suggested we go home before things went any further.

We went back to mine.  The time just flew by.  Just hours of kissing, licking, biting, scratching and sucking.  He was very good with his hands, mouth and tongue and it was absolute bliss.  That the boy was left with marks upon his arm - he later told me they were bruises, as in they hurt to poke at – and I with a little split in my lip at the end of it goes just a little way to explain how hot and steamy things got.   

He left somewhat early the next morning to go to Parklife.  Before he left he asked what I was doing later that night and invited me over to see his kittens – the modern day equivilant of etchings I suppose.  

Orange Marshmallow-Flower Cupcakes